February 14, 2013

You Me or We ?

You, Me or We? You, Me or We?
By Ruchira Tickoo
No matter what stage of life you are in; there is one question that crops up in each age group when caught in a tough situation. Should I think about myself or others or both?
Remember that expensive toy or dress you liked as a child. You did not ask for it because for you 'they'(parents) came before 'you' But still you were happy as you got some other thing without ever asking for it. But, as we grow old the 'I' in us supercedes the 'you' and 'we'.
With each milestone in life the fear increases and the trust decreases. When you ask an infant to jump; they do so without hesitation. They take it for granted that you would take care. But the same child when becomes a toddler, would check for himself 'if and how shall he proceed?' This is 'me' before 'you'.
It is human nature. Every relationship has this question arising sometime or the other. Sometimes it needs 'WE' to sustain a relationship, as the case with marriage. 'I' and 'you' helps in giving the space to an individual, but when it comes to making decisions it is 'WE'. No marriage will be successful unless that 'Us' factor is there.
Marriage is a compromise; but I feel it is the 'understanding between the man and his wife'. If it is a compromise then you may be dragging your marriage over the years. 'Understanding' smoothly sways the marriage over the high and low tides of life.
A little bit of 'I' is also important in a relationship. When the two 'I' have freedom of thought and expression then only will they compliment each other. Both will live through the relationship. This is contrary to two people existing together, but each dragging his life alone.
'We' also helps keep up the freshness of a relationship. In this case, unknowingly each will give to the growth of the relationship. Here words play very little role. The person always knows the need of the other. Materialistic things do not bother, as each will accept the other for being the self he/she is.
The 'give and take' relationships last till the resources are available. There is a high level of expectation. The society pressure, peer pressure is high. You constantly check how your relationship appears to other. In this exercise the charm of the relationship is lost to the robotic relationship.
I strongly feel that the relationship between two people is a matter between those two. No matter how advanced one becomes the value of 'WE' shall always be higher than 'YOU' or 'ME'. Though we come and leave this world alone; but on this earth we need constant company to keep us in our senses.
In our youth the 'I' in us is hot and running and we do not realize that all of us will grow old. Old age is the infancy in revere. There again will be the need of security, love and reassurances. That is possible only if the life led had some traces of 'Us and We' along with 'you' and 'me'.
"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand. " -Emily Kimbrough
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